I Don’t Want Competing With Another Woman; I Grew Up With Muslim Dad Who Married One Wife -Abubakar

Hadizah Abubakar has expressed her firm opposition to polygamy, stating that she refuses to be in a marriage where she competes with another woman for her husband’s attention and resources. She attributed her perspective partly to her upbringing, noting that her father remained faithful to her mother throughout their marriage despite being a Muslim.

Speaking on the Talk-to-B podcast, Hadizah explained that her father’s example of monogamous marriage influenced her expectations for her own future. Despite Islam permitting polygamy under certain conditions, her father chose to marry only one woman—her mother. This choice shaped Hadizah’s belief that monogamous marriage is the ideal, and she has determined that she will not compromise on this principle.

Hadizah reflected that her resistance to polygamy may be partly responsible for why she hasn’t married yet, as many Muslim men might want the option of multiple wives. However, she expressed hope that God might change her mind if circumstances require, but for now, she is resolute in her desire for an exclusive, monogamous relationship. She emphasized that she doesn’t want to cause another woman pain through being part of a polygamous arrangement, suggesting her empathy for how such arrangements hurt women. Her stance reflects her values regarding fidelity, emotional security, and equal partnership in marriage.

Hadizah Abubakar said: “What’s your take on polygamy and even as a Muslim? I don’t want though. I don’t want. You’re a Muslim. I grew up with my dad marrying just one wife, which is my mom, and in as much as my dad is a concerned Muslim, he wasn’t big on polygamy. To an extent, I think that’s the reason why I’ve not really gotten married because I don’t want to be in competition with another woman. I just feel it’s causing another woman tears, but if tomorrow God changes it, I won’t cause you tears. But really for me right now, I just don’t want to be in competition with another woman…....