Exclusive: Should parents make their children their retirement plan?

In many African homes, there is an unspoken expectation that children are the “retirement plan” of their parents.

From a young age, many children grow up hearing phrases like, “After all I have done for you,
you will take care of me when I’m old.” While caring for parents is a beautiful value rooted in love, respect, and culture, the question remains: Should they intentionally make their children their retirement plan?
This is a sensitive topic, but it deserves honest conversation.

Parenthood is a responsibility, not an investment scheme

Raising children is one of the greatest responsibilities anyone can take on. It involves sacrifice, patience, love, and commitment. However, parenting should never be treated like an investment where the “returns” are expected
in old age. Children are not retirement funds. They are human beings with their own dreams, responsibilities, and life battles.

Bringing a child into the world should be about love and purpose, not about securing the future
financial support. When parents raise children with the mindset that “this child must take care of me when I retire”, it places an emotional and financial burden on the child before adulthood even begins.

Children are also trying to build their lives

The reality is that when parents retire, most children are just starting life.
Some are trying to establish careers.
Some are paying rent and surviving monthly expenses.
Some are trying to get married or raise young families.
Some are still figuring out who they are.
Life is already demanding enough.

Expecting children to fully bear the financial burden of retired parents can create pressure, resentment, and even broken relationships.

Instead of support being given from love, it begins to feel like an obligation tied to guilt.
That should never be the foundation of a family.

Parents should prepare for their own future

Every parent should, as much as possible, plan for their future independently.
This means:
● Saving for retirement
● Building investments
● Creating sustainable income sources
● Having insurance or pension plans
● Living within realistic financial boundaries

Preparation is wisdom.

Depending entirely on children for survival after retirement can be risky because life is unpredictable. Children may want to help but may not be financially capable.

Some may relocate, face job loss, or deal with personal struggles.
Good parenting includes preparing not just for your children’s future but also for your own.

Helping parents should come from love, not pressure

This does not mean children should abandon their parents.
Absolutely not.
Supporting parents is honourable. It is a sign of gratitude and love. Many children genuinely
want to care for the people who raised them. But there is a big difference between willing
support and forced responsibility.
When help comes from love, it strengthens family bonds.
When it comes from entitlement and pressure, it creates emotional distance.
Parents should raise children with values, not financial contracts.

A better legacy: Freedom, not burden

The best gift a parent can give a child is not just education or inheritance, it is freedom.
Freedom to grow.
Freedom to build.
Freedom to help from the heart, not from fear.
A child should not feel like their life must pause because their parents failed to plan.
Instead, parents should aim to become a blessing, not a burden.

Conclusion

Parents deserve care, honour, and support. But making children the official retirement strategy is not the healthiest approach.
Children should be a blessing, not a backup pension plan.
Parents should work hard, plan wisely, and build a future they can enjoy with dignity. Then,
whatever support comes from their children becomes a beautiful addition, not a desperate
necessity.
Because love should be given freely, not demanded as repayment.
And perhaps the real question is not “Should children take care of their parents?” but rather:
“Should parents raise children with love or with expectations of financial return?”
The answer says everything.

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